Abortion Series -Part 1: When and How Does Life Begin?

When does life start? Is a baby not a baby until it breathes outside the womb? Is it only a baby once you find out the gender or is it when you detect a heartbeat? Does life begin at conception, the first missed period or somewhere in between? Is it after a certain gestational week?
So many people have so many differing opinions on when life actually begins. So let’s begin with the “how” it begins and then go from there. There really isn’t too much debate on how life begins. Here are the basics: the sperm joins with the ovum and forms what is known as the zygote. The zygote attaches to the uterine wall and develops rapidly from there. Now if the sperm doesn’t find an egg (ovum), there is not fertilization taking place – so no baby. That is the simple “how” life begins.
Now onto the more controversial “when”:
I have given birth to 3 children. Every time I saw my Dr. he would tell me how many weeks pregnant I was. When I first discovered I was pregnant with each child, I was between 4 and 6 weeks. Now it makes sense to me that the reason we are told “you are 4 weeks pregnant” or “10 weeks along”, that means there has been life growing inside for the past 4 weeks or 10 weeks or whatever number week it may be. By the time a baby has reached the 6 week mark, he or she has a beating heart, flowing blood, arms with fingers, legs, developing brain, lungs, cranial nerves, eyes and ears. My first pregnancy ended at this stage – 5-6 weeks. I grieved for my lost baby and we named him or her Riley. It amazes me just how developed that little life was when it ended. And it can only end if it had a beginning, right? I believe its life began the moment the sperm joined the egg. 46 Chromosomes came together in that instant to create a new and unique individual.
Now I realize we live in a very …..well, odd place in our society because on one hand everyone goes around saying “just believe” or “just have faith”…..not sure WHAT you are supposed to just believe or have faith in….but then on the other hand we are so visually oriented. We have to see to believe. I think this is why so many women who would have had an abortion, but first see an ultrasound of their baby change their mind and don’t go through with it.
Today’s culture and the generations of today are being taught that abortion is a “woman’s right”. I am here to say it is no such thing. If you are a parent, think for just a second that your precious child could have been someone else’s child. What if that person wasn’t ready for a family? What if they were “too young” or “too poor” or “too busy” or “too whatever….” And that person chose instead of giving birth to your precious child to end his or her life. What gives them that right? The argument is that the baby is part of the mother’s body and therefore she can do with her body what she wants. That is one of the most ridiculous and false arguments I have heard. A – The baby is NOT part of her body – inside her body, yes, but as a temporary resident not as a permanent resident. B – A woman’s claim that it is her “right” to do as she pleases may be valid when she is the only individual affected, but the baby isn’t her, isn’t her body, and therefore isn’t part of her “rights”. And the fact that there is a new set of chromosomes within her rapidly developing ought to be obvious to us all that that’s not just a part of her body.
As I wrap up this first part, please think hard about life and our responsibility to be educated to the truth. No one is going to brainwash me into thinking that a baby is not a baby until it is born or until you hear a heartbeat or until you know the gender. A baby is a baby. A baby is a person and needs our protection. In the words of Dr. Seuss, “a person is a person no matter how small”.
POSTSCRIPT: 10/27/13 I would like to clarify, because someone is bound to notice, that when I say how many weeks pregnant I do realize that most dr's refer to weeks pregnant from the last date of a woman's menstrual cycle and not from actual fertilization. I do not think a woman is pregnant until the egg is fertilized, so I mean actual age of the baby from the moment of fertilization forward. Hope that is clear enough :)

Memories

Memories are funny things. I have a lot of them. Most of us do. Memories from yesterday and memories from 20 years ago. Some good, some bad, and some so fuzzy i am not exactly sure what I am remembering. If I try very hard to think back to my earliest memory I am not sure it really is the earliest...I can remember getting my ears pierced very vividly - the monstrous sized stapler-looking thing coming at my ears and then me begging my Grandmother to "not hit the bumps" on the way home and I can remember having to turn the gold heart studs to keep my ear from growing back around it. Did that happen before or after my memory of hiding from my Grandma in the circular clothes racks in the department store and getting the scolding of my young life when she found me - which at the time I thought was highly uncalled for because it really was an ingenious place to hide. But was that first or was it my memory of dancing on the dance floor with my Grandpa? And then there are those "memories" that we have come to believe are our own...like my "memory" of falling down the steps when I had followed my Dad up the stairs to get the laundry without him knowing. He picked up the hamper and turned around knocking me down the entire way. I was fine, but I remember sitting on the bottom step with my knee bleeding and my Mom putting a band-aid on it. I know this isn't correctly my memory because my Mom was in the hospital when I got knocked down the steps (otherwise Dad wouldn't have been doing the laundry, haha). And besides the fact that my Dad says there wasn't any blood involved, Mom couldn't very well put a bandage on my hurt knee from the hospital. So my mind has heard the "falling down the steps" story so many times that i think I remember it when I don't. And apparently my mind linked it to a separate incident where I somehow got a "boo-boo" on my knee that my Mom treated.
I have memories of family vacations, trips to Grandparents' houses, holidays together, losing teeth, field trips, and birthday parties. I remember people - even people I don't know. I used to be homeschooled - 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade and previously my Mom taught at Bloomsburg Christian School. So we had yearbooks. Kelly (my sister) and I used to look at those things ALL the time, so I "knew" a lot of the people in there. I recently met someone who when she told me her first name and that she had gone to BCS, I immediately knew who she was even though she graduated from the school when I was in kindergarten. It can be embarrassing sometimes to be like "Oh yeah you are so and so, I remember you!" and they don't have a clue who I am or how it is that I "remember" them. Oh well. Some of my memories have become favorite bedtime stories for the kids - like the time Kelly and I saw a mouse in the house and we were both screaming at the top of our lungs as we perched safely atop the living room furniture. We were loud enough that Mom - who I think was visiting the neighbor could hear us on her way back to our house. Or the time Kelly and I were home alone (I believe I was somewhere between 13-15ish) and we heard this horrible sounding buzz-like noise coming from my parents' room. We both got as close to the door as we dared and still couldn't figure out what was making the racket, but we were pretty sure it was some kind of very large - likely hideous looking - bug. I was too scared to go in there, so Kelly who was probably 10-12ish) said "My name means brave" - and very resolutely marched off to the kitchen to retrieve the broom and then courageously, but cautiously snuck into the bedroom with me following not so courageously behind her. Turns out it was my Dad's pager that was set to vibrate and it was on their desk where some loose change was also setting and the vibration was rattling not just the wood on the desk but the money as well making it sound pretty awful. We were relieved and a little sheepish about our fear, but it makes for a good memory and Evan's favorite story.
Memories can make us laugh and they can make us cry. Sometimes a memory is so embarrassing we don't want to remember it or so painful we push it away, but memories can be a great source of wisdom. We can learn from them - funny or sad. Our own personal history. History is a good thing usually. Mistakes made in the past will hopefully serve as a reminder to not repeat those same mistakes. On the other hand we can get too wrapped up in our memories that we aren't living in the present. We think things were so much better "way back in the day" and we don't allow ourselves to be content with where God has us now. Or we are so wrapped up in our past regrets that guilt is overwhelming us -pulling us under to sink in our despair. The Bible says in Philippians 3:13-14: "13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus". - Paul is the one who wrote this and he certainly had plenty of things to look back on with regret. Before he became a follower of Jesus, he persecuted those who followed him. Guilt could have overwhelmed him and make him totally useless for serving God, but he knew he was forgiven and he pressed on.
Of course, I am not saying we should never look back at all. We learn a lot from looking back - look at Peter. Peter followed Christ - one of the closer disciples to Jesus and yet he denied he even knew him at Jesus' most critical moment of needing friends. Peter was completely and totally forgiven by Jesus and he wasn't overtaken by guilt - knowing that he wasn't as strong as he thought he was probably helped him in future decisions.
So hold tight to those beautiful memories of good things and people and not so tight to those past sins and mistakes - and keep learning from both.

This is my very first attempt at blogging and I am excited about it! I hope to be able to post on a variety of topics - marriage, children, favorite foods and places to eat, favorite stores and online sites. Personal interests like poetry, music, thoughts, etc...Since this is the first of hopefully many more entries, I think I'll keep it light and fun. That being said, this post will be on my kids. Ryan, my daughter, is 8 1/2 and in the 3rd grade. She is a fairly independent girl and very strong-willed, which we all know can be both a struggle and a joy. A struggle at times for obvious reasons, but a joy knowing that she has a mind of her own and isn't as easily swayed as some might be. My prayer is that she would be able to hone that strong-willed spirit into a positive thing. I hope peer pressure will be slightly easier to deal with for her because of this and that she will stand strong for Christ because of it, too. The struggle, however, for now is doing what she doesn't want to do. She has refractive amblyopia (sp?) and when she was 4 she had to start wearing a patch for about 5 hours every day and believe me it was not a pretty picture trying to get her to keep that patch on. Many tears were shed by all and we were all rejoicing when she no longer had to wear it. At her last appointment we were told she needs to start wearing it again - about 2 hours a day 5 days a week or about 3 hours, 3 days a week. I could not believe the difference in her response. :)Now she isn't enjoying wearing it - who would? she can't see very well out of her bad eye - but she is wearing it and trying very hard and I am so proud of how far she has come! Ryan is also a very sensitive girl and can be hurt very easily, so I am SO SO glad she is not supposed to wear it at school - I think that would have been torture for her. She is growing into a responsible, caring child and I am excited about what God might have for her future.
Evan, my middle child, is 6 - turning 7 in June. He is a very sweet and thoughtful child and something of a comedian. He is very interested in finding out all he can about a subject. When he was 2 1/2 or 3 he became infatuated with the 7 dwarfs and most people who know Evan saw him quite often with his yellow knit hat on (even in the heat of summer, with sweat pouring down his face) and a pair of slippers on his feet and a "pick ax" (actually a blue plastic golf club) thrown over his shoulder, sauntering down the hallway in perfect dwarf form sometimes "whistling" the hi-ho song. He moved on to animals and lately he has added Super Mario. Evan has been known to say things like "I miss the toddler years" or "Mommy, maybe you could use that" in reference to a commercial for a "fat burning pill". He tends to say what he thinks - again, something that can be a struggle and also a blessing. My prayer for Evan is that he will think before he speaks, but keep his honesty and candor using them in appropriate times and places.
Levi, the youngest, turned 2 February 1st and he is like a fireball. He is constantly on the move, has more energy than I can keep up with, and has a fiery temper. He is starting to finally understand that it is not ok to retaliate or to bully his way into getting what he wants. He keeps us laughing as he learns new words and uses his facial expressions in a variety of ways He is a lot like Ryan in his strong will and a lot like Evan in his comedy. My prayer for Levi right now is that he will simply grow into a strong man for God.
Well, that is it for now. That may have been rather boring for you, but maybe my next post will be more interesting for you